Toxic Reality
I’m tired of feeling like this.. Do you even care? I’m sick of not knowing what the hell is going on.. Seems like we are strangers now..
I’m sorry for letting you down. Again.

Every time we fight its usually my fault. I say stupid things. You get mad. I try to be a good friend but when I get mad or hurt at random things I don’t tell you about I just make things worse when I vent. I don’t mean to take it out on you. I don’t mean to hurt you or say what I do. Truth is I think you are smart. Funny. Sweet. Kind. Caring. Brilliant. Creative. Amazing. Beautiful. Adventurous. Gorgeous. And so much more. That’s how I see you. But I’m afraid to open this side of me or any sides to be honest for how you’ll feel in return. I know it’s friends only. Reason why I act weird or nervous or have a wall up between us at times or I just act out of normal so I can keep the friendship normal. You mean so much to be and I tend to fuck up everything I care about or love. Maybe I’m afraid to let us get close. Maybe I’m just afraid to be accepted for who I am.. Either way. I still care about you and always will. I’ll be here no matter what for you. Even if you don’t need me. You are my true best friend. You always had my back. I wish I could of been better at having yours and keeping your trust and friendship. I’m sorry for letting you down. Again.